So I was cleaning the upstairs yesterday (everyone applaud) and I found a rubber ducky that had been hanging around the bathroom for quite sometime without a thing to do. It's the type that has a little device on the bottom that tells you if your about to scorch you buddle of joy. Haven't needed that part in about five years.
But as I picked it up I realized it had been used since anyone had floated Mrs. Duck in the water. At one time we had a whole flock of ducks; yellow, blue, big and little. Mama would take her familiy out for a swim, courtesy of baby's and mommy's hands. Bathtime was fun time, the end of the day, followed by cuddles and nursing and sleep. I thought it would be forever till they grew quiet enough for me to do something on my own. I imagined a time when they weren't as needy, when I could read without having to change a diaper or comfort a crying child just as it got to the good part.
What a fool. How could I keep wishing for what would be? I wish I had known how precious those moment were and would have treasured them, instead of getting through them. I know that is always the way, I wish it wasn't so.
I want just one more, just one more baby to take through the beginning steps of life, to snuggle, to nurse, to smell that sweet scent of new life. Just one more.
This time I won't watch the hours, I'll invest in them.
(crossposted at A Walk Into My Life
Posted by Rachel Ann at September 14, 2005 12:11 PM | TrackBackI have spent so much time contemplating what I will do when my little ones are gone. Half of me relishes the idea of quiet time and the other half mourns for thinking of missing them. I treasure every second I get with them and can't imagine life without them.
Posted by: Angie at September 18, 2005 01:52 AMsounds like you have done alot with your life so far, ive been reading up a bit in this blog thing. anyhow, thought i would say hi, and that you seemed like a interesting person to talk/chat w. :)
Posted by: Stephanie at September 23, 2005 06:20 PM