September 08, 2005

What's Wrong With You

Do you ever feel as if you are not quite in step with the rest of the world? As if you are just a few momments different in time or place? Almost like a film with poor dubbing.

What moves and inspires me doesn't seem to interest others. Often what other's find intriguing leaves me cold. For a long time I thought it was a fault in me; like poor eyesight or hearing, it required some sort of amelioration to fix, but I could never figure out what that aide would be. How do you come to love what bores you? Care about other's feel driven about? I don't mean that I lack sympathy or empathy for another's feelings, nor am I cold-hearted and disdainful of what someone else hopes to achieve. I am supportive of other's goals and needs. But I often seem to be on the outside of most lives, looking in. I cannot connect to the world the way most people seem to....

Or is this just a percception on my part? When we peer deep within our lives are we all aware of the divide that exists between us? Are we all just a bit confused about life?

As I get older I become more comfortable with who I am, and less concerned with how other's perceiving me. I ignore the false goals that come from without me, trying to be what one is suppose to be instead of the best of who I really am. It takes to damn much energy to pursue someone else's dream and the payoff is nothing more than ash in the end.

I suppose if there were one lesson I would give my children before I die that would be it. You, the essence of you, is unique, and that uniqueness has a reason for being in this world. Seek perfection in that, and you will find happiness. Even if no one else seems to understand.

Posted by Rachel Ann at September 8, 2005 06:07 AM | TrackBack

Very true,Rachel Ann. To thine own self be true.
I find gardening to be boring but others adore it. Who am I to say it's not interesting? Why would my opinion even matter if someone was passionate about it?
You only have to make yourself happy and fulfilled. Keep doing what you are doing.

Posted by: Robin P at September 9, 2005 01:46 AM

I surely understand what you are saying here...perhaps it is what happens as we grow older. Though we have some we have many things in common with...the divide ever grows in other ways. I really think some of it has to do with our faith...the more we study Scriptures...well, if others are not on the same page...somehow the mundane things of life matter less and less to us. Somehow I think this is how it is meant to be.

My troubled daughter once criticized me for the values we raised her with (she is an athiest and we are Believers)...I told her, "Now just tell me, how COULD we raise you with any other values than what we understand and believe?" She had no answer. Her "so-called" values, for the most part, are completely wasted, to our thinking. Well, we keep praying...tis all we can do.

I know a lot of my hobbies, etc. have really kind of been gathering dust...I just so treasure my time to study the Scriptures, which today more and more read like the my dad just sent us a keyboard...I have been without my piano since our last this gift is MUCH enjoyed already. I have not had one before...but it is one that we plan to share with our friends too...some of whom are just as excited as we are.
Blessings on you, Elizabeth

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 10, 2005 03:38 PM

Excellent, it is the most important lesson.

Posted by: muse at September 10, 2005 07:35 PM

I understand exactly what you mean, Rachel Ann! I've also found as I've gotten older that what others think of me is far less important. I'm more interested in what my Lord thinks of me and trying to raise my children to be self-confident, self-aware,(but not in a too-high self-esteem way) and productive members of society.

My mantra for several years has been that "you cannot live someone else's dream".

Posted by: Left Brain Female at September 12, 2005 12:54 PM
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