May 22, 2005

You're NOT Going Out of the House Dressed Like That!

Dressing fashionably is a skill a girl begins to develop at about age 10, perfects at about 16 and, at least to hear my children, and the children of my friends tell it, loses at about the time one's child turns 16.

Most moms apparently have no taste. And while a smart parent eventually learns to tolerate, if not love, the combination of purple flowers and orange stripes (quite fashionable among the 4-6 set), teenagers are of much stronger stuff.

Moms of the teenage plus crowd have no such luck. One is obligated to stand before a tyrannical judge for complete assessment of ones dress before ever leaving the house or appearing before the child's friends. Woe to the mom who shows up at the child's school or to pick up a child from a friend's house who has made a fashion error (which is quite easy for those with children over age 14 to do.) A cardinal parental sin will have been committed. We will have embarrassed our child.

"You are wearing those glasses?" gasps the child in utter horror and disbelief. "How could you wear those glasses???? They are hideous!!!!!! And that shirt! " Here the child shakes her head and sighs, wondering how mom ever managed before said child's good sense took over, and how will mom manage alone once she, the ever capable and oh so wise daughter is gone for good, living her life in her own apartment.

Instructions are given. "Never tuck in your blouse. People over 30 should never tuck in their shirt or blouse." She intones distraught over a fashion faux pax which is, apparently unforgivable. "And never, ever by clip-on sunglasses again. EVER!!!"

The list goes on. Mom nods obediently and rearranges her wardrobe in accordance with the directives levied by her child. Of course mom can't help but to make more mistakes, or, unfortunately, to fall back upon old, bad habits, without the continuos watchful eye of her helpful spawn.

And so, inevitably, the day comes, when the child is living free and on her own.

And mom can gleefully tuck in her shirt, wear that stupid shirt again, and horror of horrors buy clip-ons.

At least until said child comes to visit.

Posted by Rachel Ann at May 22, 2005 07:17 AM

That, my dear, is why we send our children for week-long vacations at Yeshivat Maasiyahu. One week of guilt free wardrobes. Priceless.

Posted by: Mozemen at May 22, 2005 08:21 AM

Please, please tell me that it continues to be OK for dads to continue to wear absolutely whatever they please, since we're just dads. I had my fashion sense surgically removed when I was a kid and I'm not sure if they're doing transplants yet.

Posted by: AbbaGav at May 22, 2005 10:12 AM

My step-daughter is 16 but actually does not hassle me about clothes. In fact, we shop together! But I have a feeling she's not quite as understanding with her real Mom... it's a mother/daughter thing I guess.

Posted by: Mirty at May 23, 2005 02:45 AM

Abba's always get left off the hook by their daughters. and I think sons are less touch on parents than girls.

Mirty, I think it wonderful that you and your step-daughter have that kind of relationship! Kudos to you.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at May 23, 2005 09:56 AM
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