Willow Tree

Pre-worry

A friend and I went into Jerusalem today to take care of some family business stuff, and one of the places we stopped at was the Shuk.

I hate shopping in general, but the Shuk! This place just gets your adrenaline pumping. The purpose of the Shuk this time wasn't just fun; we were pricing items, trying to see if it paid to go into the Shuk and purchase items there and schlep them back to our homes. It pays, even with the bus fare it pays. So we are trying to think of the best day to do our shopping, etc. etc. and we finally settle on a day, and why it is perfect, but then I say; "But come fall, the Agent won't be home! I'll have to get a babysitter and then it won't be worth it.

That's right FALL. I'm worrying about a season that we are just leaving behind us; a year away, when who knows what changes! (Like hopefully dh getting a new job, during the day, that pays tons of money so we can buy the house and do the upstairs...)

Not a week away, not a month away, close to a year away; the sword of Damocles is not hanging over my head, yet here I sit trying to decide if it is worth it to go into the city once a week with a friend, leaving a (poor me) free sitter behind if I won't be able to maintain this schedule for life.

I can what if something to death.

Yeah I know it is foolish; worse comes to worse we will, in about a years time, be back to square one; but there are so many other changes that could occur--and so many other possiblities; I could pay my friend to buy the food for me, saving some money but not as much as if I went in by myself, I could trade something for babysitting rights, etc.

Yet here I sit worrying over. I know I'm not the only one to do this.

So how do you handle forks in the road?Are you a 'what ifer'? Do you worry about the future when it hasn't even started down the opposeite end of the street? Do you want a five year plan or do you go with the flow?

Posted by Rachel Ann at December 28, 2004 07:41 PM