November 07, 2004

I've Come to the Conclusion

That we have a mouse. I base this presumption on the fact that last night as I was sitting by the computer, something greyish and small, with four feet and a tail, scurried down the stairs and under the shoe cabinet. Any alternate suggeston, other than a rat, would be greatly appreciated. I've come to despise mice.

What do these bloody creatures do? Send out invites to their relatives? Go on to Rachel Ann's house; its rocks!!! We've tried stuffing up the holes and putting down countless traps and they manage to return and annoy us anyway (or annoy me. The children think the mice are cute.)

So today, in an attempt to find out where said mouse is coming from and to prepare for an exterminator, I forced my darling husband to move furniture from wall, and in some cases sweep out the various and sundry junk which has accumulated since the last time we endeavored to clean behind things. In some cases this meant "last week" in some cases I'm not telling you the date of the last purge.

Be that as it may, my actions have prompted this little scenario with the Wit.

The Wit: "Cleaning the floor isn't going to get rid of the mouse you know. They live in the walls."
Me: "they do? Are you sure this isn't a rat?" (I'm deathly afraid of rats and have asked everyone, save the Monkey and the Artist, this question at least twice.)
Wit: "No, the rats live upstairs in my room. I told you that."
Me: "I thought you said they put on a circus performance downstairs every evening? You know; trapeze artists, clowns, jugglers?"
Wit: "They do. They come downstairs every night to perform; but the live in my room. They practice in the attic with the birds. One of the birds is the ringmaster."
(we have birds that fly in through the spaces between the roof and the undone upstairs floors, which we refer to as the attic).
Me: "well maybe if you would call me down when their circus is going on I'd like them better."
Wit: "No you wouldn't. Your a rat bigot."

Got to admit he is right. There are two main Rachel Ann fears that she has had for many years; 1)Alzheimer's, as in coming down with. 2) Rats. And this is without ever seeing Willard. No, that rat movie cannot be said to have inculcated my febrile brain with imaginations of death and destruction at the teeth of annoying plague-ridden disease carrying rodents. To what I owe my fear I've no concept. It has to do with my fear of contracting rabies, but I don't fear as much other known carries of that dread disease. I didn't become completely spooked when the ferret bit me. Nor have I had much contact with the beasties; the first time I saw one up close and personal I was an adult; married, not yet with children, but in the planning stages thereof.

Rats have me cornered, or my rationality at any rate; logic doesn't enter in to play. No one could persuade me to take one in as a pet, or bestow as much as a pat on the head to one kept within the confines of a petting zoo.

I've held snakes, petted hissing roaches, I am unperturbed by dogs who snarl and camels who spit. But a rat, even one sitting nicely and politely noshing its food, without the slightest attempt at doing me harm?

Forget about it!

So what is your worst nightmare?

Posted by Rachel Ann at November 7, 2004 08:28 AM

Rachel Ann Shalom,

Don't both try to buy a mousetrap - if your guest is four feet long (I'll even accept a little exageration) it is NOT a mouse. Sounds like you live in the city and we are discussing a full grown rat! Run as fast as you can and purchase BOTH a trap and poison. Traps rarely work, but you can hope. Poison mixed with appropriate food is far more effective ... but you'll have to get at the carcass to get rid of the source of the smell. Either way you want it out ASAP! Good luck!

Posted by: YoelBA at November 7, 2004 02:21 PM
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