Last night I woke up about 2am and had a hard time falling back to sleep; my hands were itchy and aching due to the hour or so I spent cleaning and scrubbing someone else's carpet. I bent my knee, and cried out with pain from a knot in my muscle, due to the same work. Today I worked two hours on another house doing all the things I should be doing here but many times I'm too tired to do.
We have so little money it isn't funny. My dh is gone from the house from about noon till midnight. I feel like an idiot every time I try and talk to a native. I have to ask for help to help my daughter with her homework. Six people are crowded into three bedrooms. Our living room is also our den and our study. And when I lived in NJ I never entered a bookstore/grocery store with the thought I may not emerge hanging in the back of my mind.
No room, no money, can't even speak the language well, and winter, rainy and cold YUCK, is coming upon us; this move to Israel qualifies as a nightmare right?
No; this is a dream and it is a dream come true. Life here is hard, but it is wonderful. I've met the people I want to spend my life with. There are fears and there are hardships; there is also the sense that we are in this together; that however much we disagree, we are family.
This is home; that feeling hasn't abandoned me. I feel safer here, in a deeper sense, than I have ever felt in USA. I may not have things, but I have the deep caring and sense of community that I have never really felt before.
This change in my life isn't an easy one; I will probably never feel at ease with Hebrew, I will most likely never be able to stop worrying about money, and until the Messiah arrives there most likely will always be a fear of terrorism.
But I am home; finally home. And that is a change for the better.
Posted by Rachel Ann at September 6, 2004 05:06 PMI know how happy you are in Israel. I envy that. You can worry about money anywhere but you can only be in Israel in Israel! That actually sounded quite profound before I wrote it....lol!
My entry was also about my time in Israel. Maybe he should've had an Israeli theme.
Wow. I just wrote about people changing their lives to fit with their values; it seems you have done just that. I admire you for it, and I wish you the best of luck.
Posted by: Sarah at September 10, 2004 10:00 AMI envy you. My experience in Israel was far to short. I know Hebrew is a hard language.... so different from our own. Life is far more precious there.... I think surrounded in the eye of the hurricane (politically speaking) what you do and why you do it take on a type of importance. I wish you luck and send you love....G-d knows you need a bit of both.
Posted by: achromic at September 15, 2004 06:06 PM