Just a tirade, why me sort of rant. Not even a rant as I lack the energy to do much more than toss my hands up and go why me; as in, why can we never make ends meet? I mean ends, not pay for a vacation, but ends meet, as in the grocery bill ends meet.
I am tired of this. I work hard, my husband works hard and we make it nowhere; just when we are about to lift our heads above water another wave of something hits and we go under again.
So what does that mean? We are losers? We aren't really trying? It is all our fault if only we did what? I'm not saying we never treat ourselves or make money mistakes but we never go anywhere or do anything really.
In our 25 years of marriage we have been on exactly three real vacations; that is, not going home to mom trips; and two of them were paid for by my parents as they extended family vacations...my family, my sisters and brother and their family---one to Canada and one to Israel, 3 years ago.
Yeah, if you hear bitterness in there you are right. I am. I love to see new faces and new places.
My new clothes are generally used new clothes.
I can't remember the last time I bought jewelry aside from the cheap watch I'm wearing.
Yes, bitterness. And I hate that part of me, since I should be thankful for all the things I do have and all the chances I do have. People in other parts of the world are actually starving. There are children in Israel who are going to bed without dinner. And, all I have to do is remember this weeks events to realize, "Thank G-d, thank you G-d, for the blessings you have given me."
But does that mean I can't want...can't desire?
Maybe, maybe not. But here are 5 wishs:
1. A family vacation for 2 weeks, hotels only; someone else to cook, clean and the rest of it.
2. Ten new, never used books
3. three new outfits
4. A night out on the town with the dh; dinner, show and away we go!
5 A day at the spa. Just me. Me me me me me me me.
End of rant or whatever the heck this was.
If I hadn't been in such a crappy mood I wouldn't written that same post yesterday. I barely got the bills paid. I have to wait until this Friday's check to pay the rest and then we are barely hanging on.I didn't need to get the news that Rich's car didn't pass it's inspection yesterday. Some type of exhaust leak. $$$$$$$ I was at work and almost had an anxiety attack. I can't afford to pay for a repair but obviously I have to or Rich won't have a car. Lillianna's birthday is in 4 weeks and we need presents and party stuff.
Our last real vacation was our honeymoon November 1994! It's sad, it really is. We work hard too and it seems to get us nowhere.I know we are better off than some but I still want to stop worrying about money!
Let's all hoist the frosty beverage of our choice, commiserate and thank our lucky stars that it ain't worse.
Posted by: Jim at September 6, 2004 04:51 AMI second Jim's motion.
Posted by: RP at September 6, 2004 01:57 PM